sunday afternoon at the pond

Last Sunday we met the fam at beautiful, historic Main St. Unionville and took Sara for a walk at Toogood pond. While we waited for Grandma and Grandpa to arrive Sara did one of her new favourite things - cruising around her umbrella stroller, playing with the straps and telling little stories ("sha sha sha...")
She really enjoyed the sunshine, water, ducks, geese, and of course the people. She attracts admirers wherever we go, and it fills me with pride and happiness that others think she's as adorable as we do! This is also quite possibly the cutest toddler outfit ever... I picked up the sundress at H&M, and her squeaky shoes are just too much.

We also took her for her first patio lunch of the season, and she hammed it up playing peekaboo at the table. I can't wait for more summer days outdoors!

And... the other day she learned a new skill. Are you ready for it? She gives kisses. When we hold her and say "kiss?", she leans in and gives the softest, sweetest, yummiest 'mw-ah' on our lips. Love, love.

mother's day

This weekend was full, full... not of errands and chores, but happy moments, smiles, and cuddles. First I got my hair cut (a lot)... and look, it's straight!

Then I picked up this vintage sewing box at a garage sale for $4 , which is now a lovely new home for......organizing all of my paints!
We've been working hard on setting up our deck for the summer, and we got this Muskoka chair in my perfect shade of green last week. On Saturday I potted some geraniums and some fresh herbs (basil = gobs of fresh pesto. Yum.) I love how this little reading spot came together and while Sara was out with Ian I got in a few pages of this book. It's such a good, inspirational read for anyone who appreciates and loves good food.
And for Mother's Day we had brunch out at one of my favourite local spots, followed by lots of cuddles and playtime while Sara pushed her dump truck around! Sara was tired and/or teething again by the end of the day, so after everyone went home we had quiet time and I've just tucked her into bed.
The perfect Mother's Day weekend with our little family. Tonight I will go to sleep feeling happy, fulfilled and truly blessed.

a swingin' time

This past weekend was full of smiles as Sara and I had mommy-daughter weekend. It was the first weekend since going back to work that we didn't have a lot going on, and for the first stretch of time I felt like we were really "us" again.

We lazed about on Saturday morning in our bed for cuddles and some playtime. I love this time. It reminds me of when mornings were not rushed, and I get to see her smiling face when she first wakes up and babbles away until I come into her room. We went to the park, did some shopping for some summer jammies and shorts, and enjoyed not one but two BBQs across the street. Sara had her first outdoor dinner of the season, and had fun walking around the grass after her big red ball while I held her hands. Teaching a toddler to walk makes for a very sore back, but it's amazing!

I was only late with the post, not the party...

Honestly, these days I can hardly believe how organized you have to be as a working mom. Those who know me well can attest to the fact that I am an organized person - and I pride myself on it - but in the past few weeks I have joined the ranks of women who, despite all the best intentions, find themselves scatterbrained, terrible with answering friends' emails or calls, trying to figure out when exactly we're supposed to DO everything, and desperately seeking her memory. I can only hope that if push comes to shove I am genetically programmed to remember something I need to for Sara, not where I put that folder on my office desk.

Finally, some pictures from her birthday party on April 12. She was a little shy at first with so many people in the house, but then she relaxed and had a great time. She didn't even fuss at the paparazzi cupcake on the highchair tray moment, she even laughed and clapped her hands while we all sang happy birthday!
Not sure about the cupcake at first, but she ate some! Vanilla (after we successfully introduced whole eggs earlier that week), with homemade buttercream frosting that I dyed pink with pureed raspberries.

The few seconds before she pulled her party hat off!Quite a haul...
The next day, trying out her new phone to make some calls!This past weekend we bought her first pair of real shoes. We took her to a well known neighbourhood childrens' shoe store, and she looks like such a big girl in them! So adorable. If she wasn't going to grow out of them in 3 months, and they didn't recommend just one pair of shoes for consistency while she learns to walk, I would have bought lots!

We've also hit some more milestones - she finally started holding her own bottle a couple of weeks ago!! And just last week, she held and drank from her sippy cup! Hoorah! Selfishly, I was thrilled that she did the sippy cup with me, after months of hard work. I was so proud of her. And it was with MILK, no less! We've almost totally transitioned to whole milk from her formula. (as an aside, I'm not going to get into how I feel about last week's federal government ban of plastic baby bottle news just yet - that's for another post if I get around to it.)

She has also started dancing when she plays music on her LeapFrog table. It's awesome. She holds the table with one hand, and wiggles her bum from side to side with the music. Tonight she did it during the Backyardigans while standing against our ottoman... she loves the song they always sing at the end. I have videotaped it, and maybe one day if I actually have time to upload video I will!

happy 1st birthday!

At exactly this time one year ago today, 8:05am on April 8 2007, Sara came into the world!

As I sit here quietly with my coffee I can hardly believe that one year ago right now I was in a hospital bed with an overwhelming blur of Ian, nurses, a special care team and an obstetrician who was actually up on the bed with me - I remember it so clearly even now. My labour was long, long, long, and sadly after a mere few hours of epidural bliss dozing, the epidural was turned off one hour into pushing because it wasn't going well. I thought, huh? What do you mean I'm not pushing? I know I can't feel anything, but....

Fast forward to two hours later. I was still pushing every few minutes, and the epidural's effects were long gone... so much for the "birth plan" you fill out! I was also hooked up to an IV because I had spiked a fever earlier. Pink Floyd and Van Morrison were alternating in our CD player and I had to laugh at the irony of "Comfortably Numb". I remember so clearly the intense pressure of each push, and they had started to use a vaccuum to help move things along. I'll tell you, as a girl growing up, you never quite imagine that one day you'll have a suction vaccuum stuck inside you. When no one would give in to my whimpering pleas for more epidural, I started crying and yelling "I can't do this anymore! I can't do it!" And in that moment suddenly there was a whoosh and release of pressure as her head came out (which I didn't even comprehend at that moment), people were shouting at me to do one more big push, and then.... I saw a wriggling, purply-faced, crying Sara held up in the air. And there it was. The most happy, incredulous, emotional moment of my entire life. She had to be looked after by the special care team before I could hold her because there had been muconium in the waters. I held my breath and tried to see what was happening, but Ian assured me she was ok. Soon she was wrapped up and brought over to me with her little hospital hat on, and I just cried as I met my little girl in person for the first time.

What an amazing year we have had together, and we're only just starting out. Look at you now - learning to walk, becoming more independent, communicating, and full of smiles and giggles!

I love you more than anything on earth, little one - Happy 1st birthday. I can't wait to get home for cuddles.

patio dreaming

It's Friday, which means that I have made it through the back-to-work transition week! We are doing well. The first couple of days were rocky and emotional, but I'm chugging along. Sara is so far restraining herself from mocking what is currently a pretty disorganized evening routine while we acclimatize ourselves! I am tired though, and looking so forward to a warm-ish and sunny weekend of family time! We're taking our girl to the park tomorrow, I've told her she'll finally get to go on the swings again. She didn't understand, but trust me little one, you will be loving it!

I admit this is cheating (like I said, I'm tired) but since I have no pictures to upload this week, check out this Patio-oh post by one of my favourite bloggers, Anna Maria Horner. If you are looking for fresh colour, outdoor yumminess and a big hit of SPRING for your home, this is arguably the best example I've seen. I wish this was my patio... although this is the year I'm determined we're ripping down the ugly pergola that seems to take on more of a slant every summer. She has so many good ideas for outdoor family living. I'm saving my pennies for some of her new Drawing Room fabric in the sketchbook design. The art supply table makes me yearn to sit outside with my sketchbook and some paints and canvases... and daydream of when Sara and I will craft and make art outside together!!

bittersweet

It's my last day of maternity leave, and here I am doing many of the same things that I did on this day last year when I was one day past my official due date.... flitting about the house anxiously tidying things, feeling nervous about the impending and inevitable big life change around the corner, and finding myself swinging on an emotional pendulum. Oh yes, and nursing a sprained wrist, which has totally sucked and means I haven't been able to pick up Sara in over a week. This is the first day that being on the computer doesn't really hurt!

I've spent a lot of time reflecting on the past year over this week, how much Sara and I have both grown and changed... remembering my favourite moments, from a certain walk to the park to the many milestones... and yes, shedding quite a few tears at how fast it's all gone. Some recent photos:

Hamming it up at Easter dinner...
When it's wet, Sara's hair is curly like Mommy's!
She colour coordinated her toys with her outfit, all by herself. Adorable.
Standing at every opportunity and starting to cruise!
Instead of delving into the complexity of how I'm feeling, because in true Christine style I have over-analyzed it to death already, I will simply say to my girl:

This year has been the most incredible, life-changing journey of my life. I have loved every single moment with you, even in the hard learning curve of motherhood, and we have made quite a team together! I don't know how I will adjust to not having you by my side everyday, but I do know that I will think of you constantly, miss you fiercely, and will look so forward to coming home to your big smile and Sara hugs every evening. Please save some more of your firsts for when I am home, if you can wait! And while I am so proud of all the things you can do already, please, please, don't grow up too fast.

Love, Mommy
xoxo

a rollercoaster, baby baby....

Have you ever heard a baby with laryngitis? It is so, so, sad to hear your baby snuffle and cough with her first bad cold, rubbing her face furiously, and then look at you while crying hoarsely. This has been our week. We even, for the first time ever, had to have Sara sleep in our bed with us on Wednesday night. She let us know in no uncertain terms by standing up screaming in her crib that she could not, would not, sleep on her own! She lay on Ian's chest first, nose running all over him, snoring. Cute if it wasn't 2am! Last night was a repeat. I sat upright propped on pillows while Sara leaned into my chest looking for a comfortable way to breathe. Finally I could slink down and we all got a few magical hours of sleep. I feel so sad for her, and hope she is healthy again soon.... even so we can just get some good sleep!

This past 6 weeks or so has been one stressful thing after another, some of which I can't talk about here. Let's say that it's more than just the snow and I've had to call into question my belief that 'everything happens for a reason'. I'm happy to report that I still believe it for the most part. Sometimes it's good to shake things up because after you get over the initial freak out, change can be a great thing in the long run - even necessary. And the events that are the most difficult to reconcile, like the passing of a friend, can ironically strengthen the friendships between those who are still here.

Dealing with stuff has put off dealing with a really big, impending change for me... and now I'm feeling the anxiety flood in. In two fleeting weeks, I am... Going. Back. To. Work.

I'm feeling the guilt, anxiety and sadness about my maternity leave ending, as well as a confidence crisis about returning to my job. For the past year, my job has been to be a Mommy and nothing else, and Sara is a huge part of every single part of my being. I envision not being here for the bulk of her days, and missing out on 'firsts', and it feels like someone has chopped off a limb. As I've said before, I cannot believe that she is almost 1 already and soon won't be a baby anymore.

It seems that one of the great ironies of motherhood is that when you crave a break and some time to yourself, after you feel happy for a while, you feel the tug and can't wait to get back to your child. Like this week, I went to see Juno by myself and it was great (even though I felt mildly nauseous after eating nothing that day but a bag of Reese Bites and big fountain Coke), although of course I cried big sniffly tears during the mommy moments of the movie. A family trip to Ikea turned into a solo trip for me after our sleepless night, and my purchases were for Sara's birthday party and her room!

So I've been trying to think of the positive. You see, there are good things about going back to work... it's just that I feel guilty for getting excited about them! Such as, I have a cool job with really great co-workers, and I look forward to taking on new challenges. I can have an uninterrupted hour to myself at lunch. There's good food and shopping near my office. I like getting dressed nicely in the morning and then dressing down after work. It will be nice that dressing down in the evening isn't going from track pants to actual pajama pants! I will have a new workspace. Oh, and yes, the paycheque will be fabulous.

There are things to look forward to, and I know we will both adjust. I feel so much better that Sara will have extra bonding time with her Daddy for a least a little while. This makes me incredibly happy. So can we just see a little SPRING already, both literally and figuratively? If we can just get over the sickness, I do feel flutters of excitement for all the GOOD changes and events coming this year. And for the next couple of weeks, I will soak up all the family time that I can!

standing tall

Ever since Sara started pulling herself up to stand, she has been practicing her new skill everywhere! We have finally finished babyproofing, but honestly, I think my heart momentarily stops several times a day as she teeters, reaches, balances on moveable objects, and yes, tumbles down. It's impossible to avoid tumbles - I know this - but when instead of landing on her diaper-padded bum she bumps her head or scares herself and starts to cry, she's not the only one with a lump in her throat!

Speaking of a lump in the throat... this weekend was, well, interesting. Ian was up north at a cottage, and on top of watching the relentless snow fall on Saturday, Sara got sick. In the morning she wouldn't eat except for her bottle, and just lay against my chest on the couch with her soother. By afternoon, she spiked a fever of 39.2. She felt so hot and was crying inconsolably, and despite trying to think rationally, I started to panic. She's never had anything like that before and from what I had read online during her last fever, we had well passed the point of home treatment (I now know - don't look up medical advice online. Just don't.) I called Telehealth who told me I wouldn't get a call back for 20 minutes, and then I remembered our Dr.'s after hours service. They also said that I would have to wait. So I gave her Tempra, which was difficult because she didn't want anything coming near her face, and I decided to try putting her in a bath. Bad move... She started shaking when I put her in the water so I pulled her out.

By this point I was in full panic and crying myself, thinking that even if I had to take her somewhere, how the f*$k would I get there in the giant storm?? I even briefly debated calling 911. I know tons of people would find this ridiculous, but so what ... newish moms with a sick baby don't exactly think clearly! Thankfully my awesome sis and brother-in-law live across the street and they came over to help. I was an embarrassing mess but the Tempra started to work for Sara and they could sit with her while I talked to a nurse on the phone. I'm so, so, grateful that they stayed with us for the rest of the evening!!

Sara was eager to go to bed that evening. I didn't sleep well that night and gave her more Tempra every 4 hours, but by morning she was nice and cool. I hope she doesn't have any lasting memories of me shoving a thermometer up her bum about 100 times.

Yesterday and today she's been better but still not 100%. She's had some barely contained diapers (love you, Pampers) and she's been coughing a lot at night and in the morning. Her 'talking' is all hoarse and raspy. It's so sad to listen to, but at least she wants to play again! Even though this was nothing compared to what some parents deal with, there's nothing like caring for a sick child to remind you of how fierce and all-encompassing a mommy's love is!

The Schoolhouse's youngest student!

This weekend's weather is likely going to confirm Sara's growing disbelief that there is any such thing as "outside", but, we did get out this morning to visit our friends at the Heritage Schoolhouse museum. It was our first visit since Denise passed away, and although it was emotional to walk in knowing she would not be there to greet us, we had a good visit. I'm very glad to have gone in once before our 'Celebrating Denise' lunch next week.

It was the first time that Sara explored the classroom and she was very interested in looking around at everything. She looked so cute sitting at one of the desks! She was probably the first child to stand on the seat and try climbing over without getting in trouble!

You can almost see her mind working here... "What do I want to touch, and how do I get Mommy to lean closer to it?!"

hints of spring

Ok so I've been terrible at blogging lately, with good reason though... I hope to get back on track, at least until I go back to work! I really needed to see some signs of spring, and this morning I was thrilled to breathe semi-warm outdoor air... and see the sun streaming in on my new "baby"!
Sara seemed to enjoy a shot of colour too!
Sara is crawling speedily all over the house and pulling herself up... she started with going to her knees, and then when we were at M&D's house for dinner on Saturday she stood right up in her playpen! She evidently wanted to see what she was missing at the table! Today I just found her standing up her crib in tears, which I figured was coming! I'm not sure if she couldn't get down, or if she just knew she needed a new diaper.

I sit back and marvel at how she's growing and changing, and I just can't believe it sometimes. She has such a happy personality that comes out more everyday, and I'm so proud of her developments. Nothing makes me happier than watching her crawl with all her might across a room (or up my body) to get to her mommy for a big hug.... but I admit I am also having an increasingly hard time with the fact that my baby will soon be a toddler and we're planning her 1st birthday party already!

recuperating

Wow, have we been sick around here. S-I-C-K. It started last Wednesday for me, and turned into four days of total aching, feverishness, weak muscles, sneezing, nose-blowing, coughing, congested headaching misery. Our family was together for Family Day and most of us came away from it with varying degrees of the same thing. Ian is in the midst of it right now. I may not have had to miss "work", but caring for a baby when it's all you can do to get off the couch is hard!
Fortunately Sara hasn't been too bad, but she's had her first fever and cold... poor thing. She's in much better spirits now, but last week we spent some quality couch time and I tossed aside all of my house rules to limit TV during the week. She's coughing now, but I had her checked out by our doctor yesterday and she's ok. She's up to some new tricks... like learning how to go from crawling to sitting up, so I keep finding her in her crib like this!
If we're in the living room, her toys don't stand a chance these days. After a few minutes she quickly crawls over to her book basket. She pulls every book out and looks at a few pages of each one. Too funny!

family day fun

We celebrated the new Family Day holiday by having a brunch for Ian's mom at our place, and since we've been buried in never-ending snow I decorated the table in spring colours and tulips! It was a good day and Sara enjoyed showing everyone her crawling skills.

Sara liked Family Day so much that she didn't want it to end. In fact, she pretended to be teething and extremely upset so that she could sit with Mommy and Daddy in their bed until almost 12:30am reading Alligator Pie and Mother Goose rhymes... Even Tempra wasn't working, and at one point that her face looked so puffy from crying that I panicked and thought she was having an allergic reaction to something...so then I was teary, and she calmed down momentarily. Today all is well (but still no tooth!) and we went to our swim class this morning. We're just a bit sleepy!

be mine

This is the cake I made for Valentine's Day...
Ok, that's a bold-faced lie. But doesn't it look scrumptious? It's Nigella's heart-shaped chocolate cake recipe from Feast. I did, however, buy these from a local grocer for dessert tonight ... yum! I was after something chocolatey with raspberries and these mini ganache cakes fit the bill... and who can resist strawberries in chocolate tuxedos!
We started the day by going to our second swim class this week, which was lots of fun, even though Sara's swim diaper leaked on her red pants in the car... there was nothing I could do but rinse and get into the pool, and she had to ride home in pee pants. But, moms always have a backup outfit, so after a quick change here she is dressed in version 2 her Valentine outfit from Grandma and Grandpa! Nana brought her some great new books and her first puzzle. She was also busy 'signing' homemade cards for her Daddy and grandparents. Her true Valentine though, from how she's lovingly engrossed in this picture, is her book collection.
Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!

and she's off!

Sara has successfully completed all of her New Year's resolutions (1. learn to crawl, 2. give lots of hugs, 3. say 'Da-da')... she's crawling!Coming to get Mommy and the camera...
Gimme!
She's been showing all kinds of independence over the past couple of weeks, and I'm amazed by how much she knows now that she can communicate more. She points at EVERYTHING, and knows so many more words than I realized! She points out Cheerios, bottles, the monkey on her highchair, the sheep painting in her room, cupboards, the table, the kitchen, Ernie's red nose and black hair, the cows in her Boynton books, the lobster, kayak and Niagara Falls in her ABC of Canada book.... and sometimes when we say "where's your head?" she puts both hands on her head and it's totally adorable!

In order to be a good role model, I guess I should be doing better with my *one* new year goal... a flat belly... sigh!

sadness

On Saturday, I received one of the biggest shocks of my life. My friend and former colleague, Denise, passed away suddenly. Over the past few days during long conversations with mutual friends, and the few moments that I've allowed myself to be alone, there have been many tears and even some laughter in remembering her... and trying to let it sink in that this is actually real. I thought maybe writing a bit about her may help.

Denise was a loving, funny, genuinely caring person who was a great friend and motherly figure in the lives of the close-knit staff of the Heritage Schoolhouse. We depended on her for so much, and not just professionally. Over the 8 years of our friendship, she shared in us getting married and having children. Even though we were part of a large school board, we worked in our own small building, just 4 of us. We were like a little family, and shared every morning coffee and lunch together. No one could tell a story like Denise, and I still laugh at her patented expressions and the many colourful characters we learned so much about over the years. She also had an incredible memory, and always asked after our own families and friends. During the past three years I saw her less often since we didn't work together daily anymore, but that's one of the many unique things about the Schoolhouse... we were all still close, and I looked so forward to our get-togethers. It was like no time had passed.

Denise also gave me some of the best advice about raising Sara after she was born. She loved reading this blog and seeing new pictures, and loved a "little cuddle" with her on our visits. She had three daughters of her own, and I can only dream of having as close a relationship with Sara as she had with her children. She was their mother and their best friend.

The thing about having children is that when horrible things happen in life, they still need to be fed, changed, and played with. Last night before putting Sara to bed we rocked in our chair together. She was curled up to one side so that we were facing each other with our heads resting on the back of the chair. I sang to her while she alternately grabbed my nose and hugged me, and I cherished every moment of our "little cuddle."

Ian was away most of the weekend, and won a Super Bowl bet that was made months ago with the intention of going to Las Vegas. This morning he was SO excited, and at first I was adamant that we need the winnings and can't just spend them on a vacation. Unable to deal with an argument, I went to take a shower... and broke down. I could almost hear Denise telling me to shut up, go to Vegas, and have fun! It's funny how events like this can put life in perspective in short order.

The next few days of the visitation and funeral will be extremely difficult, and I know for sure that it will be a full house. I haven't come up with anything remotely suitable to say to her family. At least a group of us are doing everything together, as heartbreaking as it will be to say goodbye to our friend.

I will miss you always.

xoxo

room to grow

Like most things in our life and our house, we've gone through quite an evolution since Sara was born. Her room is starting to reflect it too. I've rearranged the closet and her dresser a number of times as clothes come in and out, or to find the perfect homes for socks and other things that I need to grab without looking, like wipes.

Special gifts and handmade items are also finding their perfect spots. I made these paint and fabric canvases recently, and I'm so happy with how they've turned out. The Bert and Ernie needlepoint was a Christmas gift from Grandma... she made it over 30 years ago for the boys!


On her dresser is a collage I made while I was pregnant... a stuffed elephant from S&C's trip to Thailand... a Tiffany (!!) piggy bank from Aunt H.'s dad, and a framed photo of our first trip to a beach this past summer... Special keepsakes for a special girl! And, some nighttime necessities like her pacifier plus a backup, as well as our awesome version of a nightlight: a one-touch closet light that we dimmed with a washcloth draped over it.

bookworm

If I haven't mentioned it before, Sara loves to read. Seriously, I mean she REALLY loves her books.She even reads in the tub to relax after a busy day...
She loves turning pages, and every night after dinner I pull out three books for her to choose which one we read first. The other two stay close by so that she knows she'll get to see them as well. We cuddle on the couch, and often she wraps one of her little arms around mine (leaving one free for page-turning, on course!) Among her favourites are the Wombat series ("Sometimes I Like to Curl Up in a Ball", "Swim, Little Wombat, Swim!"), Boynton's "Opposites", "Picture This", and "The Hungry Caterpillar". She also mastered the various tactile activities in "Pat the Bunny" in short order.

I love that she adores her books. Not only does it make me feel better about the times she's exposed to TV, but I look forward to years of us reading stories and going on imaginary adventures together!

getting around

I've spent most of the week fighting off a winter cold/sore throat, and catching as much time on the couch as possible to rest up. Staying home when I'm sick used to mean hiding under a blanket in my PJs, watching hours of daytime tv or Gilmore Girls DVDs, emerging only for another hit of Tylenol, food, or tea. This routine is somewhat more difficult with a 9 1/2 months old scooting around! I also realized that although it hurt my throat to talk earlier this week, it was all but impossible to NOT talk to Sara. She's incredibly verbal and would not take well to one-sided conversations!

She is, however, great at hugs and so far that's the best medicine. I even relaxed my 'no TV while Sara's awake during the weekdays' rules to give us Oprah. Surprisingly this worked to our advantage with Sara's sippy cup. She has been holding the cup to her mouth but not tipping her head back to actually drink anything... until she wanted to look up at something on Oprah, that is. Her goal of watching TV got her to look up and tip her head enough to drink some water! So apparently TV is not ALL bad for babies.

At the beginning of the week I thought well, at least Sara is still stationary and she plays independently, so I can supervise from the couch when I'm feeling really lousy. But wouldn't you know, after weeks of only rocking and pushing backwards, she's discovered how much fun it is to slide herself all over our hardwood floors! She can really go and it's funny to watch, but requires constant supervision. She sometimes rolls over suddenly and bonks her head on the floor unless I slide my hand under it. Or, she inadvertenly scoots herself under the playpen or couches...
This morning she made a great breakthrough, one that I clapped and cheered for... as I've mentioned before, Sara is very cautious about trying new physical moves. She has great balance and is a pro at sitting, rolling, and pushing up... she just hasn't been able to transition herself from one to the other unless she flops over. Lately she's been really frustrated with herself, which is hard to watch. She leans tentatively on one hand and then sits up again with a fearful look on her face, sometimes crying out like a baby version of swearing. I try to help, slowly guiding her through the movements, which she sometimes appreciates. Other times she protests loudly and arches her back (a throwback to when she wasn't ready to sit up...)

Then today after breakfast, trying desperately to reach one of her plastic shapes, she did it... she gingerly leaned forward... put her weight on her hands... and pushed herself over her legs onto her tummy. It was almost like Tai-Chi the way she slowly figured it out. What an accomplishment!

We play upstairs on carpet too, but for downstairs I think I'm going to lay down a few more foam squares until she gets the hang of it all. She needs more space without risk of hitting her head on the hard floor. I'm also not sure how to clean our hardwood floors now that she moves around on them.... dry sweeping doesn't seem like enough, but I'm not sure I like the idea of her touching any residue from my usual Swiffer wet jet. Anyone have any tips? I haven't found any all natural floor cleaners by Method or Life Brand, though maybe Seventh Generation makes one? When I tried to remember that brand name I was calling it Seven for all Mankind... but while I'd love a pair of their jeans too, the only way they would be cleaning my floor is while sliding around on my ass to follow Sara!

p.s. I just don't have the energy to tell my retail story anymore... I'm getting over it, but maybe next week I'll recap.... for now, perhaps just think twice before ever shopping here.

finger foods!

On Wednesday we had a milestone of a lunch... Sara started feeding herself!

I put some pieces of toast on her tray as I had been for a few days, and as she picked them up she started doing the cutest thing - she decided to feed ME! She held out pieces to me and said 'hmmm?' with an expression like 'try some, Mommy!' I opened my mouth and ate the toast, causing her to wave her arms and giggle like it was the greatest thing. Completely adorable. We played this little game for a few minutes, and then suddenly it happened - she put a piece in her own mouth! I clapped and cheered for her, so she did it again (after chewing and swallowing her first piece). She was on a roll. I added some bits of cottage cheese and started videotaping the occasion. Success!

Yesterday I had to make a dash to the grocery store for some finger foods, so next we'll move on to pieces of banana, mango, soft cooked veggies, etc....

I'm also seething about a customer service situation we're currently involved in with a baby store. It's somewhere we had never shopped before and I recently made a large online purchase from them. I'm reserving the story for when the situation has been resolved, but I promise it will be a full blown (and hopefully humorous) rant of a "please, please, as my friend or family member, do not EVER shop here" nature...

some new year firsts

Phew - I've spent the past week recovering from the holidays and getting back into a routine, and consequently not much time online. Our first New Year's Eve with Sara was really nice. We joined our friends in the late afternoon, and after the girls played we enjoyed a yummy full-fat appetizer dinner.
Sara went to sleep perfectly in her playpen, which was awesome, allowing me to enjoy some wine in the hot tub with the ladies while the guys played a hockey video game until the ball dropped. In fact, Sara was TOO quiet, prompting a drunken daddy to sneak into the room and make sure all was well at 2:30am - I was sure he'd wake her, but once he put the idea in my head, I couldn't go to sleep until he checked!

Sara has already crossed one resolution off of her list... she has started saying 'da da', and it's so cute. Her daddy is very happy about this new development, especially after a few weeks of nothing but 'ma ma'! I have a hunch that she actually knows what she's saying, because yesterday she kept repeating 'ma ma, da da'. She also started clapping her hands, which I love. This is an exciting development that we were working on for a couple of months.

She's still going backwards with her crawling, but she can really move now - especially when she gets to our hardwood floor! She doesn't seem too bothered about not going forwards yet, because when she wants a particular toy she just pivots around until she can reach it. I have learned to just relax, knowing from experience that Sara's temperament is very cautious with new things (much like her mommy), and she does things only when she's ready. And once she has mastered a new skill, she can't get enough of it!
Over the past week I've been trying to encourage her self-feeding skills. I've introduced some finger foods on her highchair tray (baby cookie, broken up toast, steamed pears.) She mostly just pushes it around, which I find funny considering she puts everything else into her mouth! Her grasp is really good - she picks up the pieces and examines them, and then usually just throws them over the side. She eats pieces off of my finger though, and I'm relieved that so far her chewing skills are great. Yesterday we made a bit of a breakthrough with her cup. She finally drank some water - eagerly! I've taken the no-spill valve out for now until she gets the hang of it, which makes for very wet and messy drinking lessons. It's a mix of me holding the cup for her, and then her holding it. She loves to shake the cup and down, and once when it splashed her in the eyes once, she got angry and pushed the cup away with all her strength. Lesson over. Hee.

This morning we went back to the pool to start the winter session of our diaper fit class. It's much smaller this time, only 5 of us. One of my main winter projects is Operation Flat Belly - my post-pregnancy belly, which was almost gone, has grown back as a post-Christmas belly. So, it was good to get moving in the water. Sara is the oldest baby this time, and for the first time, I was the mom being asked various developmental questions or for tips about getting a baby to like the water. I'm so used to being the one with questions, so I'm happy to help though it made me a bit wistful -- likely also because I was reminded that many of the moms from the last class are heading back to work already. Sara still loves the pool so I'm going to start taking her during free swim times more often. As usual, she was the lifeguard magnet! They gravitated right to her, playing little games and waving/clapping with her. I was so proud of my little girl!