happy due date

Today is THE due date, but nothing is happening yet except some house cleaning, cooking and reading. I'm actually feeling pretty calm over the past couple of days, deciding to more or less take it easy and let things happen. Although, so far I've been told both sex and chocolate can speed things up... so this waiting thing CAN be fun! Ian keeps asking "Are you in labour yet?"... "Are you in labour now?"... soon, we hope!

This morning I went to pick up some milk at the grocery store, and spotted the much coveted spot right by the door. Just as I was starting to pull into it, a 50-something year old man driving an obnoxious mid-life crisis canary yellow sports car cut in front of me and parked there. In MY spot! I made some unfriendly gestures at him and made sure that he saw my gigantic belly when I got in the store. He wasn't hard to spot, wearing a stupid yellow ski jacket that matched his car (ick). He looked at me, and I gave him my best bitch-face glare, but if he felt even the slightest bit bad he didn't let on. And then to top it off... he just made it in front of me in the express checkout line! My hormones were right on the brink of letting me tell him off but I didn't want to cause a scene... although maybe that would have put me into labor... heh heh.

Over the past couple of days I finished knitting the little kimono sweater, it's cute and with the little side ties will be easy to get on and off of her. I'm not confident in how nicely I finished the tiny bit of side-seam sewing that was required, but I don't think it's coming apart!


I also did another little painting, 16"x16". My criteria was simple... something simple and sort of graphic, that I could start and finish within a few hours, and that has my favourite green. It was inspired by, of all things, a spring table runner I bought a few weeks ago.

An Easter delivery??

Well, I had a checkup today and am frustrated to say that nothing is happening yet — the baby seems ready, but I, apparently am not. The baby is extremely low but my cervix hasn't moved at all... and therefore no dilation. So much for being early!

I have an ultrasound next Wednesday to check on things, because my back up induction date is 10 days after the due date (the earliest available date at the hospital.) Get this... It’s Easter Sunday!! Of course I could still go into labour on my own, and I'm trying to focus on the fact that we're both healthy instead of being discouraged or upset - but being extra tired and hormonal is making that a bit of a challenge. Please, please send us positive thoughts ... I don’t want to deliver the Easter Bunny!!

the picture of patience?

Ian took this belly pic on Friday night just before we headed over to our friends' place for the evening. They live only a few blocks away from us, so it was a comfortable distance. Their house goes up for sale tomorrow though, so I had to promise not to have my water break on their carpet!

Maybe it's nervous energy but today we're going to Sears or Canadian Tire to look at some inexpensive rugs for our living room, where we'll spend most of the baby's awake time. We have hardwood floors on our entire main floor and I keep worrying about it being uncomfortable for playtime, and eventually, crawling. We're trying to be patient, although it's getting harder for both of us since it seemed that I'd be early. I've never been good at waiting for anything... and when we woke up today Ian said, only half-jokingly, that if we get started soon we could be almost done by dinner!

biding time

After having a bad sleep the past two nights then being stuck in the house yesterday while it poured rain, this morning I was excited to get out for a waddle and some fresh air to check out some little shops in our town that I've been hearing about. I was tempted to spends tons of money ... but I was good and just bought a cool striped tea towel (on sale) that will be sewn into a pillow for a certain little someone's room as she gets a bit older. It's by a London designer I hadn't seen before, Cath Kidston. I LOVE her colours and fabrics, and I can think of a couple of you who will too. Apparently our local store is one of her only Canadian vendors and they have a lot of the merchandise.

The nesting thing has diminished from obsession status, as I've now cleaned virtually every surface in our house. This has sparked a revelation ... I thought I was more or less on top of 'keeping house' while working full time. However, given the gobs of dust I've wiped from on top of or behind furniture, plus the clutter I've dealt with (seriously, receipts and souvenirs from our trip to Maine *last August*? Orphan buttons that came off of god knows what article of clothing?) I've realized how completely wrong I was. Yes ladies, housewives just have cleaner houses. As odd as it may sound, I actually feel better now. It's also nice to know we're bringing our baby home to a clean house... at least for the first few days!

I also just finished reading Shopaholic & Baby. Highly recommend it for anyone preggers now or has been recently, or who yearns to 'be the girl with the hot pink pram'! I wanted something light and fun, and the rest of the Chapters selection just wasn't cutting it... Young girl gets abducted by crazed appliance repairman? Nope. Couple has baby in the 1920s, who turns out to have Down Syndrome and is institutionalized? Don't think so. Sophie Kinsella's latest was a great read... and although it was written with humour, yes, I still cried when she had the baby.

baby's room

Not much to report, my appt. went well but he isn't doing another 'internal' exam until next Tuesday to see where things are at (unless I go into labor before then.) He really thought with her getting 'into position' so early that things would be moving along by now.... but, as he said, babies are unpredictable! It's so contrary to my organized, planning nature to not know exactly what's happening... he's still hopeful I'll be early, but the next few days will tell!

In the meantime, here are some pics of the room. It's all ready for a baby!

chop, chop!

Well, I did it - I chopped my hair today, and am SO glad I did. It's a chin-length bob, longer layers around my face and shorter layers through the sides and back. It's bouncy, fun, light and best of all, different. I love the new hair feel. My stylist also does a killer scalp massage during the shampoo, so I enjoyed every second of the pre-baby pampering. I met Michelle for lunch afterwards -- and we realized the next time we see each other may be at the hospital!

So does this mean I'm ready now? I think so... chop, chop! Dr.'s appt. tomorrow will let me know how ready Sweet Pea is for her big trip outside.

mom hair?

Still pregnant, and I'm getting antsy realizing that Sweet Pea will most likely be arriving in the next 10 days! I booked a last-minute panicked hair appointment for tomorrow morning, because I really need a cut and it occurred to me that I have no clue when I'll be able to get it done once she's born. Maybe it's the need for layers with natural curl, but when it needs to be cut, it needs to be cut now. Not to sound selfish, but let's face it -- I feel much better when my hair doesn't look like crap, so I really want to make it to the appointment!

So here's my debate... Should I go for a cute new bob cut, or just a trim to tide me over? For the past few months I've been obsessing over wanting to cut my hair, I just hope it's not a hormonally fueled idea. I've been growing it for over two years, but like most women I know, I seem to like flipping between chopping and growing it out. This seems to go hand in hand with big life changes. Let me take stock... in high school I grew my hair long and straightened my curls everyday. In university I cut it short and ditched the straightener, which was so liberating because I no longer feared the slightest humidity or drops of rain. When I started working I grew it longer. Longer still for our wedding, then short post-wedding. Now longer again, and I'm realizing that it just doesn't work for me. It's too fine... I don't get long, thick Sarah Jessica curls.

When I told Ian of my hair-cutting fantasies he said 'but all moms cut their hair!' Let me stress that I don't want "mom hair". The bob is fun. Plus, my hair is fine, so when it's long it gets flat and pulls my face down. Why I don't remember this each time I try to grow it long is beyond me. Despite meticulous layering, I start to get the pyramid head look unless I blow dry it everyday, and somehow I don't see myself having time for that!

I never coloured my hair until 1 1/2 years ago, but once I did I got hooked by a brighter, blonder me. I was tempted to do it tomorrow, but will hold off on that until post-pregnancy. My hair may change, plus the money will be worth it after I come out of the zombie state of the first few months and want a little pampering. Unfortunately right now the 'stripe' from not colouring since getting pregnant is somewhat trashy and makes my original colour look mousy in comparison (sigh - another argument for more of a chop?!)

Chop or trim... hmm.

vintage baby couture

My mom gave me some of my baby clothes, select things that she has saved all these years. There are several sweaters knit by my Grandma, some handmade blankets, and some favourite pieces that she bought. Check out these '70s fabrics and styles! I LOVE vintage fabric, and looking at these it's no wonder certain colour combinations and patterns still appeal to me now. I can't wait to dress our little one in her first vintage fashions, complete with this blanket to snuggle with.

Update: 38 week checkup

Today was my big 'internal exam', which I've been freaked out about because while some friends have said it's easy and not uncomfortable, others have said it's horrible and really uncomfortable. I'm happy to say I thought it was fine -- definitely some pressure, but not unlike having a pap. Everyone (and every doctor/nurse) is different, and my dr. is very gentle. He said I could squeeze his arm if it hurt too much but I didn't need to (and I'm a wimp!)

So... The baby's head is very low, but no dilation has started just yet. My cervix is 80% thinned out, but still further back (posterior) than it will be it comes to the front (anterior) for dilation. He thinks he will see me for my appt. next week, but after that he said all bets are off! He still predicts that I won't make it until the 29th before going into labour. Everything is looking good... her heartbeat is very strong and positioning is just right, and my blood pressure is still v. good. We're almost there!

*Squeamish alert - don't read on if you're grossed out by birth/labour stuff*
I asked some questions about labour, and learned that if I lose the infamous 'mucous plug', which not everyone does, it doesn't always mean much because the mucous actually can grow back! It also isn't literally a giant plug that is holding the baby inside... but if it's mixed with blood it can be one indicator of the difference between false and real labour. That's the also infamous 'bloody show' we wait for - and no, that's not a Brit expression for waiting for a movie to begin! There is actually a concern if you bleed as though you have your period, and you need to get the hospital right away. And, not everyone's water breaks either. If it does, it's really not likely to be a big gush like on TV. So either way, pads are recommended now and I'm going to have to start turning the light on for my hundred nocturnal pees to make sure I don't miss anything!

letter to our baby girl

Our sweet baby girl,

As I write this letter, you have been living inside of my body for 38 whole weeks now. You have grown from a tiny magical being into a strong and healthy baby! It has been the most incredible, surprising, life-changing journey of my life so far, and the bond that we have made will last forever. I have genuinely enjoyed being pregnant with you, I love to feel you moving and stretching inside of my growing belly. While I'm anxious to meet you, I will also miss this feeling!

Your dad and I have experienced both excitement and nervousness as we anticipate your arrival and the fact that we are parents! I want you to know that you were created with so much love, and this experience has brought your dad and I even closer than I thought possible. He is the person I am meant to spend my life with, and the best man that I know. He is gentle, warm, loving, strong, funny, smart, and always has a positive outlook on life. I that hope you share his spirit. A sensitive nature, and a love of learning and creating things are some of the things you may get from me. In many ways your dad and I have grown up together over the 11 1/2 years that we've been a couple before having you, and we are so ready to share our life with you now.

You also have grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends who all love you already and are very anxious to meet you. Always remember that love is the most important thing in life -- finding the right person to share your life with, and the love of family and close friends are what matters most. Nurturing and respecting these relationships is so important. Also remember that to be happy as you grow up, you need to find what you are passionate about and discover your own path. Always be open to possibilities, and if you want something badly enough, pursue it and make it happen. We will always, always be here for you.

We are so excited for the millions of firsts that are to come - the first time we hold you and kiss your little cheeks, hands and toes... your first smile... your first wobbly little steps... the first time you say 'mommy' and 'daddy'... our first family vacations. We will try our absolute best to give you a life and a home that is filled with love, happiness, comfort and security.

While I've had moments over the past few months of feeling uncomfortable or scared, I know that it will all be worth it... and so much more. My life will never be the same again, and I'm looking forward to all the joys that you will bring!

Love always and forever,

Mommy

in the studio

Over the past few days I've spent some time in my art studio, a space in our house that has been sadly neglected for much of my pregnancy. I don't really know why, but I just wasn't into painting over the past several months. It's normally one of my favourite things to do, but I've been busy prepping for baby and doing knitting/crafting (I'm proud to say that everything on the walls plus a cushion in the baby's room is handmade by mom.)

With the green light from my doctor, I wanted to squeeze in some studio time and really "work" in there before the baby arrives. I pulled out the big guns - some favourite CDs including Loreena McKennitt, a bowl of mini eggs for munching, and some canvases I had leftover from summer art shows. My first piece was small, just something quick and fun to get the inspiration going...

Next I did two mixed media pieces for over our bed. They were fun to do and I had that happy, almost buoyant feeling (as 'buoyant' as a girl can feel at 9 1/2 months pregnant) I get from painting. I suck at photographing art so the pictures aren't great, but here they are:

Paint and paper on canvas, 18" x 18" (diptych)

I'm so looking forward to getting creative with our little one, expressing her imagination and having studio time with mommy. One of my favourite Ontario artists did a series a few years ago where her small daughters painted on canvases, and she interpreted them on bigger canvases. And then there's crayons, markers, felt, playdough, paper... it will be so much fun!

maternity photos

About 10 days ago a good friend of ours, who happens to be a photographer, took some maternity photos of me - just before my belly dropped! I thought I would share a sample of the proofs that we just got last night. These are straight off the camera, no retouching or editing yet, but I'm really happy with them! What you don't see is that during the whole photo shoot, Sweet Pea was extremely active. We weren't sure if it was the lights or something else, but she was wiggling and stretching the entire time!

surprises!

Today has been a day of surprises... first, I had my 37 week checkup before lunch. I love my obstetrician, he's so calming and easy-going. As he began to examine my belly, the conversation went a little like this:

Me: "She feels lower this week." (trying to sound very nonchalant and casual)
Dr: "Mmm. Well, she could be..." (getting out his measuring tape)
Me: "That wouldn't necessarily mean anything though, right? Don't some people drop a few weeks before delivering?"
Dr: "Oh yes, definitely. You could still be up to a week overdue, or some people don't drop at all until their due date..." (starts feeling my abdomen for the baby's positioning), "Hmm. Yes, you're quite a bit lower actually. Much more room up top, her head is low."
Me: "Really?" (still trying to sound casual)
Dr: (Helping me to sit up) "I'll know more next week when I do an internal exam, but I suspect you'll deliver early... I think it's quite likely!"
Me: *Gulp.* Try not to panic.

Right after my appt. I met MIL for lunch at Milestone's (btw, the butternut squash ravioli with goat cheese is fantastic) and she surprised me with some more newborn clothes and the means to get the Pack n' Playard we had registered for, plus a nice dinner out with I. before the baby arrives - thanks Grandma and Grandpa!!

When I got home I sat in the rocker and read to my belly. Today's selection was my own childhood copy of Mr. Small. I still remembered all the pictures (like how his big meal is half a pea, a crumb, and a drop of lemonade!) Sweet Pea is usually very quiet while I read to her, I pretend that she's enjoying the book too.

So I'm nervous, very nervous, but also very excited to meet our baby. Before next week's appt. while I. is at work I'll be doing a lot of visiting with friends, getting last-minute things ready, crafting/painting... and sleeping!

37 weeks - domestic bliss?

So here I am on maternity leave... waking up Monday morning and realizing that I didn't have to go to work was strange, but after seeing the snow squalls and white out conditions we had all day, I had no regrets! After taking a self-imposed computer detox for a few days, you may be wondering if I've become a lady of leisure... sitting with my feet up, belly spilling out over track pants, eating Cadbury mini eggs in front of the TV. I'm happy to report that at some times that's a pretty accurate picture! However, I've also been pushed into domestic overdrive.

This nesting thing reached new heights, and I spent Monday clearing out and reorganizing closets. I love the feeling of throwing things out and getting organized... our linen closet is now a work of art. However, the irony is, while I feel a surge of mental energy to do these things before the baby arrives, I just don't have the physical stamina. After short bursts of activity my lower back hurts, there's pressure in my abdomen, and I'm out of breath. The baby hasn't officially 'dropped' or lightened/engaged, at least as of last Thursday, but I'm so glad to be done work because it's harder to move around this week. Do you know what it feels like to have something pinch your groin from the inside, or like you have a balloon being inflated in your crotch? I do! (Sorry... may as well just tell it like it is!)

Over the past 2 days I've tackled the following, in short spurts:

1. Reorganizing the linen closet and some kitchen drawers.
2. Cleaning the clutter off our disastrous dresser, kitchen table, and spare room.
3. Starting to knit this cute kimono sweater (green with pink ties)
4. Looking at recipes to make and freeze for the first couple of weeks when we bring the baby home.
5. Shopping for the last things I need to pack the hospital bag: nipple cream, some magazines, baby no-scratch mitts, baby brush/comb, and extra maternity underwear (more like granny panties...)

Speaking of the hospital bag, it's finally ready. The list of recommended items reads like we're going on a leisurely family cruise! It took a lot longer than I thought, mostly picking out which sleepers and outfits I want the baby to have for her first photos! As for my things, well, if you've ever wondered who still buys the gigantic maxi pads in an era of lightweave/ultra thin options, it's moms-to-be... paired with granny panties and a hospital gown, this look is HOT.

This afternoon/evening I'm planning to just chill in front of the TV with my soap, Oprah, Ellen, and some rented movies...

in like a lion

My friend and co-worker coined the word of the day -- ASS. As in the weather (a huge nasty winter storm ushering in March), as in any truck/large SUV/BMW/Mercedes/Lexus driver who thinks they should muscle their way into my lane on the highway in said weather conditions, and as in mine, mildly numb after sitting rigidly in the car for an hour with a baby pressing into my groin.

So on my second last day of work I waddled out to my car at 1:30 as quickly as possible once the storm swept in at rapid speed. I got lucky, the drive actually improved as I got out of the city where it wasn't too bad just yet.

Sweet Pea was moving like mad while I sat at my desk this morning. My belly looked like a rolling waterbed! Yesterday they had a surprise baby shower for me at work, and since I helped plan the one for New Mama I was sure they couldn't surprise me... but their fake meeting planning skills prevailed and they got me! Of course I was all red-faced and couldn't stammer anything more eloquent than repeated 'thank you's. We got a Bumbo chair, a funky fabric tote bag filled with lots of beautiful classic books, a pair of sheep Robeez, and a 'sleep sheep', a stuffed sheep that plays various nature sounds like rain and whales. My manager is convinced that this will confuse her, and when people ask her 'what does a sheep say?' she'll start make creepy whale cry noises.

Only 28 more days to go... by early next week I'll be considered full term (37 - 42 weeks), which means that if the baby comes early there technically shouldn't be any complications or special needs. It's a big milestone! March may be coming in like a lion, but if our due date is calculated right, it will surely go out like a lamb... with our little lamb being born!