time off?

I was so excited to have a week off of work during the holidays, and enjoy what is nearly my last time of doing nothing -- and everything I want -- for the next um, 18 years or so. And I have had lots of relaxation time, but it hasn't been in the same way I normally would. You see, I've come to the realization this week that I'm not just "going to be a mom"... I AM a mom, though I'm fumbling towards a realization of what that really means. Going through this week without work and holiday plans to occupy me, I've become acutely aware of how much my life has changed already... and will change dramatically forever in just a few short months.

I've watched movies, eaten my fair share of Hello Dolly bars and gingerbread, and indulged in daytime TV. But... I also picked up a new book that I can't wait to delve into -- The Birth House, by Ami McKay. I went boxing week shopping, and wandered into Sears to find that our crib mattress and mobile goes on sale this weekend. I organized all of my loose recipes into a binder in an effort to keep my food passion going when the baby comes, instead of just cooking the basics. I talked to my belly a lot and read her Guess How Much I Love You. And, I thought a lot about how much excitement and nervous anticipation we feel in getting ready to meet this tiny new member of our family.

I am amazed at how much love I already feel for this new little person who has taken over my body, my daily thoughts, and, my heart.