standing tall

Ever since Sara started pulling herself up to stand, she has been practicing her new skill everywhere! We have finally finished babyproofing, but honestly, I think my heart momentarily stops several times a day as she teeters, reaches, balances on moveable objects, and yes, tumbles down. It's impossible to avoid tumbles - I know this - but when instead of landing on her diaper-padded bum she bumps her head or scares herself and starts to cry, she's not the only one with a lump in her throat!

Speaking of a lump in the throat... this weekend was, well, interesting. Ian was up north at a cottage, and on top of watching the relentless snow fall on Saturday, Sara got sick. In the morning she wouldn't eat except for her bottle, and just lay against my chest on the couch with her soother. By afternoon, she spiked a fever of 39.2. She felt so hot and was crying inconsolably, and despite trying to think rationally, I started to panic. She's never had anything like that before and from what I had read online during her last fever, we had well passed the point of home treatment (I now know - don't look up medical advice online. Just don't.) I called Telehealth who told me I wouldn't get a call back for 20 minutes, and then I remembered our Dr.'s after hours service. They also said that I would have to wait. So I gave her Tempra, which was difficult because she didn't want anything coming near her face, and I decided to try putting her in a bath. Bad move... She started shaking when I put her in the water so I pulled her out.

By this point I was in full panic and crying myself, thinking that even if I had to take her somewhere, how the f*$k would I get there in the giant storm?? I even briefly debated calling 911. I know tons of people would find this ridiculous, but so what ... newish moms with a sick baby don't exactly think clearly! Thankfully my awesome sis and brother-in-law live across the street and they came over to help. I was an embarrassing mess but the Tempra started to work for Sara and they could sit with her while I talked to a nurse on the phone. I'm so, so, grateful that they stayed with us for the rest of the evening!!

Sara was eager to go to bed that evening. I didn't sleep well that night and gave her more Tempra every 4 hours, but by morning she was nice and cool. I hope she doesn't have any lasting memories of me shoving a thermometer up her bum about 100 times.

Yesterday and today she's been better but still not 100%. She's had some barely contained diapers (love you, Pampers) and she's been coughing a lot at night and in the morning. Her 'talking' is all hoarse and raspy. It's so sad to listen to, but at least she wants to play again! Even though this was nothing compared to what some parents deal with, there's nothing like caring for a sick child to remind you of how fierce and all-encompassing a mommy's love is!