Sunday, March 30, 2008

bittersweet

It's my last day of maternity leave, and here I am doing many of the same things that I did on this day last year when I was one day past my official due date.... flitting about the house anxiously tidying things, feeling nervous about the impending and inevitable big life change around the corner, and finding myself swinging on an emotional pendulum. Oh yes, and nursing a sprained wrist, which has totally sucked and means I haven't been able to pick up Sara in over a week. This is the first day that being on the computer doesn't really hurt!

I've spent a lot of time reflecting on the past year over this week, how much Sara and I have both grown and changed... remembering my favourite moments, from a certain walk to the park to the many milestones... and yes, shedding quite a few tears at how fast it's all gone. Some recent photos:

Hamming it up at Easter dinner...
When it's wet, Sara's hair is curly like Mommy's!
She colour coordinated her toys with her outfit, all by herself. Adorable.
Standing at every opportunity and starting to cruise!
Instead of delving into the complexity of how I'm feeling, because in true Christine style I have over-analyzed it to death already, I will simply say to my girl:

This year has been the most incredible, life-changing journey of my life. I have loved every single moment with you, even in the hard learning curve of motherhood, and we have made quite a team together! I don't know how I will adjust to not having you by my side everyday, but I do know that I will think of you constantly, miss you fiercely, and will look so forward to coming home to your big smile and Sara hugs every evening. Please save some more of your firsts for when I am home, if you can wait! And while I am so proud of all the things you can do already, please, please, don't grow up too fast.

Love, Mommy
xoxo

1 comment:

Beaches said...

I must be emotional this Monday morning, because this just drove me to full on tears. I'm a bit behind on reading you because, well, you know. Newborn.

I'm so glad to have you as a friend and colleague and inspired by your first year with Sara and your amazing transition back to the daily grind at the office. I know it's not easy, I already feel panic at the thought, but watching you go through it and survive gives me hope that I can do it to when the time comes.

You are such a great Mom! Congrats on a wonderful and successful first year with your babe.