happy 1st birthday!

At exactly this time one year ago today, 8:05am on April 8 2007, Sara came into the world!

As I sit here quietly with my coffee I can hardly believe that one year ago right now I was in a hospital bed with an overwhelming blur of Ian, nurses, a special care team and an obstetrician who was actually up on the bed with me - I remember it so clearly even now. My labour was long, long, long, and sadly after a mere few hours of epidural bliss dozing, the epidural was turned off one hour into pushing because it wasn't going well. I thought, huh? What do you mean I'm not pushing? I know I can't feel anything, but....

Fast forward to two hours later. I was still pushing every few minutes, and the epidural's effects were long gone... so much for the "birth plan" you fill out! I was also hooked up to an IV because I had spiked a fever earlier. Pink Floyd and Van Morrison were alternating in our CD player and I had to laugh at the irony of "Comfortably Numb". I remember so clearly the intense pressure of each push, and they had started to use a vaccuum to help move things along. I'll tell you, as a girl growing up, you never quite imagine that one day you'll have a suction vaccuum stuck inside you. When no one would give in to my whimpering pleas for more epidural, I started crying and yelling "I can't do this anymore! I can't do it!" And in that moment suddenly there was a whoosh and release of pressure as her head came out (which I didn't even comprehend at that moment), people were shouting at me to do one more big push, and then.... I saw a wriggling, purply-faced, crying Sara held up in the air. And there it was. The most happy, incredulous, emotional moment of my entire life. She had to be looked after by the special care team before I could hold her because there had been muconium in the waters. I held my breath and tried to see what was happening, but Ian assured me she was ok. Soon she was wrapped up and brought over to me with her little hospital hat on, and I just cried as I met my little girl in person for the first time.

What an amazing year we have had together, and we're only just starting out. Look at you now - learning to walk, becoming more independent, communicating, and full of smiles and giggles!

I love you more than anything on earth, little one - Happy 1st birthday. I can't wait to get home for cuddles.