sitting pretty

When Sara was a newborn, several people told us that a baby's crying peaks at 6 weeks. At first I was sure that this is just something people say to make first-time parents feel better, like 'No, you don't look fat in that', but it was true. I don't think Sara cried excessively or had colic, but she does have a good set of lungs. The crying really did diminish, settling our nerves, and now she mostly cries when she's tired ... and, apparently, teething. She has been grumpy on and off for unpredictable bursts lately during the day that stop as quickly as they start. I can only surmise that with all the drooling and voracious chomping on her Sophie the Giraffe and lobster teethers, there is a tooth on the way. Ironically, when she is crying she won't take a teether (but have I mentioned how much I love pacifiers?)

I've considered mentioning that Mommy knows all about trying to push something painful through a small spot for the first time, but this probably won't help. Instead I can only give extra cuddles and kisses and wait for a tiny white tip to appear on her gums.

This week I'm slowly teaching her how to sit on her own, which she is desperate to do! She starts out strong...
...and then gets a little tipsy!

baby talk

Sara and I have started having conversations, and it is quite possibly the cutest, funniest thing I have ever seen. I discovered this by accident when I was making some sounds to get her giggles going -- I did the "THLPPPPPPPPP" thing where you blow air through your tongue and lips, and after a few times she repeated it after me! Her version is awesome. She purses her lips and blows softly, making little drooly bubbles, and then smiles with pride. The first day she did it twice, but this morning we had a full conversation this way! It's a pretty phenomenal thing to communicate with your baby, no matter what form it takes. Next I'll work on "Mommy"...

back to school

I took Sara to register for the fall Mother Goose program at our local Early Years centre this morning, and I had been told to arrive at 9am sharp because the programs fill up fast... they weren't kidding. I wheeled the stroller through the door and was faced with a sea of squealing, chattering moms, babies and toddlers (lesson learned... leave the stroller in the car when entering a small crowded space). This may sound ridiculous, but my first thought was "Holy s**t, I AM a mommy now!!"

We got in, and Sara and I will have a busy social calendar for Sept and Oct -- Mother Goose on Thursday afternoons (it's during the long sought-after nap time, but it sounds fun and gives me some social time), a music program on Wed. mornings, and "Diaper Fit" on Tuesday mornings. I'm really looking forward to that one, as I'll be taking Sara into a pool for the first time! It's a light workout for moms, and the babies are in flotation devices that look like tugboats. Swim diapers are on my shopping list, as I don't want us to be responsible for any pool foulings!

And in my free time (ha), I have happy news about my art... I'm working on a large commission piece, and, a baby boutique has bought 4 of my paintings to sell in their store!! I'll be delivering them in the next week or two, and am very excited!

Bam Bam

Sara has earned her first nickname - Bam Bam! She has a quirky habit of lifting both legs up in the air in her crib, and banging them down on the mattress with a resounding "THWUMP". She likes to do this in her sleep, sometimes on and off for hours of the night. It no longer keeps us up like it did the first few nights, and she's completely asleep while she does it - silly girl! I don't know how it doesn't hurt her feet. Apparently babies master a skill before moving on to a new one, so since she's got this one down... next! We may need to start strapping pillows to her feet!

Speaking of development, her naps seem to be getting more regulated (finally!) and she can easily reach and grasp things...and shove them in her mouth! I don't think we are far from her first tooth. Though she hasn't rolled over again yet, she wants to be pulled up to sitting all the time. She also pushes up with a lot more strength on her tummy. Rolling, sitting and scooting about are apparently supposed to happen in quick succession, so I'm getting ready. She also wraps her little hands around my face and neck when I hold her, and even cries sometimes now when I leave the room... makes it more difficult for me to get things done, but I love that she is showing attachment to her mommy!

altered states

You might think it goes without saying, but I am in LOVE with my babe. I was talking (very emotionally) to I. last night about this journey of motherhood so far, and how far we've come. I will be honest, it was really tough in the beginning...we had some challenges, plus nothing, I mean nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation, baby cries, everything hurting, swollen and leaky boobs, and OH the hormones... all while facing the biggest adjustment of your life. I wasn't actually unhappy, and I loved her instantly, but in the early weeks I wasn't elated all the time like new moms are somehow expecting... which leads to crushing self-doubt and feelings of failure at what "should" be the most natural thing in the world. I was scared and unsure of everything. Any mom who says she didn't experience even a degree of these things is surely lying! I am eternally grateful to friends who validated and related to my feelings. I still sometimes have visions of horrible things happening to her, like me dropping her, which I'm now convinced is my protective instinct on overdrive.

Fast forward to now, our beautiful daughter at 4 1/2 months old. I am so happy with her and our little family that it almost feels like I'm going to bubble over - she amazes me. I really feel like a 'Mom' and wouldn't trade my new role for anything. She is thriving and I feel proud, competent, and stronger (but I still have blubbery jello abs.) I love holding her, playing with her, making her laugh, and starting every day by peeking into her room and seeing little pajama feet kicking in the air. I get teary and feel guilty thinking back to some of my early emotional moments, wishing I could have known what I know now. Girls, if you think parental guilt is bad, wait until you're the mom! But we're only just beginning. Though I am excited for all the things to come because it just keeps getting better, I also want to hang onto every moment we have together now during this summer of baby days.

happy birthday to me

Today has been a great day, celebrating my birthday with my girl (who has been the best companion I could wish for), Ian, sis and bro-in-law... with not one, but TWO cakes! And wine - shocking! I like this pic because you can also see my first b-day card from Sara. Her penmanship is very impressive. Ian gave me flowers, chocolate, and a day of shopping... I can't wait. And even though I was getting presents, I also bought Sara some new plastic rings to play with because she loves them. Tonight I will go to bed feeling very full of love, happiness, gratitude... and cake!

4 months

I've been an extremely negligent blogger lately, but I couldn't let my babe's 4 month birthday slip by! Sara is doing so well. This week I bought her Sophie the Giraffe since she's been jamming everything into her mouth, and she has been going to town on it. We also got her a combo exersaucer/jumper that is waiting to be put together. It looks so fun, I'd even like to play with it! Sara loves to be pulled up to sitting and standing so I hope she likes it too... she even tries to pull herself up from lying down by doing little curl ups. Her abs are better than mine!

I don't think I've shared Ian's favourite story to tell lately, which he lovingly calls 'Sara giving Mommy stinkface'... Sara was lying on her change mat, and just after a diaper change her bum felt warm through the new diaper-- hmm, did she poop already? I bent down to sniff her bottom first, and right at that moment she grabbed two fistfuls of my hair and shoved my face into her bum. And yes, she had most definitely pooped... She was giggling, and I didn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted. It was a bit of both as I passed yet another initiation into motherhood!

We've been busy with people moving and M&D's wedding tomorrow, and while waiting for Sara to settle into her naps (yep, still having trouble with those!) I've been spending an unhealthy amount of time here... I'm a late convert, but just couldn't fight it anymore. I'll either be obsessed with it, or totally over it in a couple of months!

I'll be back next week after the wedding. It's on a boat and the weather looks awesome, we're really looking forward to it. We're dropping Sara off with Grandma and Grandpa and then heading down to the hotel! Enjoy your weekends!

rock & roll

Yesterday Sara rolled over for the first time! She was playing on her tummy, grabbing for toys (also for the first time!) and I was watching her thinking how great it is that she's starting to really like tummy time... and out the blue, she just flipped over onto her back! She looked up at me like it was no big deal. Once I got over being stunned, I started clapping. Her daddy was in the shower and had missed it, so I grabbed the video camera in hopes that she would do it again... no luck though!

It was a strange feeling to see Sara do such an independent movement. She has depended on us for every change in position and soon she will start doing things herself, which makes me both proud and wistful... a reminder to cherish each moment because babies change so fast!